This month's news
Matchett consultant Razza Zar regularly speaks at conferences and seminars, and delivers influencing training across Europe to thousands of delegates. There are many influencing techniques and one of the tools Raz advocates is the 'Mirroring Technique.'
He tells us 'Mirroring is based on the assumption that we tend to feel comfortable with people who communicate non-verbally the way we do. In other words, we are drawn to people when their body language (gestures, tone of voice, facial expressions, eye contact, dress, and so on) is similar to ours.
By the same token, we tend to be turned off by people whose non-verbal language is different than ours. For example, if you are engaged in a quiet conversation with a friend at a party, you will probably perceive the person whose loud, boisterous voice bellows in the background, as being obnoxious.
The great news is we are in control of our non-verbal communication. So to create rapport with others instantly, we merely need to "mirror" their non-verbal communication. That means if the other person talks softly, then you talk more softly. If they lean forward, then you lean forward. If they talk quickly then you do the same. In other words, you 'mirror' the other person's tone of voice and body language. The only exception is when they are angry. In that situation, you wouldn't mirror anger; you'd instead mirror concern.
Raz tells us that there are a few things to keep in mind though when we use mirroring. First, mirroring does not mean mimicking. So, if the other person is sitting with arms folded across their chest, you may have yours crossed on your lap. Don't mirror the person exactly, just similarly. That prevents people from thinking they're being imitated.
It may come as a relief to know that you don't have to mirror the other person for longer then a few moments. Once they become comfortable with you, you can actually start leading the non-verbal communication, and then they'll start following you. So if you have a colleague who is tired or listless you need to start the conversation in a low slow manner. After a few minutes, you gradually pick up the tempo. Your colleague will feel so comfortable with you they'll naturally do the same. This is great news particularly if you interact with lots of people.
Raz says 'Mirroring is easy and it works. When you use it properly, you'll improve the impression you make on virtually anyone -- regardless of their mood or the situation. You'll also experience the personal satisfaction of making a stranger feel comfortable. That's when you begin making truly important connections.'
Matchett offer a range of training courses on influencing techniques and establishing rapport ranging from 2 hours to 2 days.
To view our incredibly popular 'Power of Persuasion & Influence' course, please click here. Alternatively, please contact us for further details.
The Mirroring Technique with Razza Zar
We all know the power of first impressions. How people perceive us during the first few seconds of an encounter has a major influence on whether they will trust us, be attracted to us, or want to do business with us. To create a positive first impression, we need to know how to connect immediately with others regardless of their age, gender, ethnic background, mood, or the situation.Matchett consultant Razza Zar regularly speaks at conferences and seminars, and delivers influencing training across Europe to thousands of delegates. There are many influencing techniques and one of the tools Raz advocates is the 'Mirroring Technique.'
He tells us 'Mirroring is based on the assumption that we tend to feel comfortable with people who communicate non-verbally the way we do. In other words, we are drawn to people when their body language (gestures, tone of voice, facial expressions, eye contact, dress, and so on) is similar to ours.
By the same token, we tend to be turned off by people whose non-verbal language is different than ours. For example, if you are engaged in a quiet conversation with a friend at a party, you will probably perceive the person whose loud, boisterous voice bellows in the background, as being obnoxious.
The great news is we are in control of our non-verbal communication. So to create rapport with others instantly, we merely need to "mirror" their non-verbal communication. That means if the other person talks softly, then you talk more softly. If they lean forward, then you lean forward. If they talk quickly then you do the same. In other words, you 'mirror' the other person's tone of voice and body language. The only exception is when they are angry. In that situation, you wouldn't mirror anger; you'd instead mirror concern.
Raz tells us that there are a few things to keep in mind though when we use mirroring. First, mirroring does not mean mimicking. So, if the other person is sitting with arms folded across their chest, you may have yours crossed on your lap. Don't mirror the person exactly, just similarly. That prevents people from thinking they're being imitated.
It may come as a relief to know that you don't have to mirror the other person for longer then a few moments. Once they become comfortable with you, you can actually start leading the non-verbal communication, and then they'll start following you. So if you have a colleague who is tired or listless you need to start the conversation in a low slow manner. After a few minutes, you gradually pick up the tempo. Your colleague will feel so comfortable with you they'll naturally do the same. This is great news particularly if you interact with lots of people.
Raz says 'Mirroring is easy and it works. When you use it properly, you'll improve the impression you make on virtually anyone -- regardless of their mood or the situation. You'll also experience the personal satisfaction of making a stranger feel comfortable. That's when you begin making truly important connections.'
Matchett offer a range of training courses on influencing techniques and establishing rapport ranging from 2 hours to 2 days.
To view our incredibly popular 'Power of Persuasion & Influence' course, please click here. Alternatively, please contact us for further details.
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